NATURAL GIFTING, PERSONALITY AND CHARACTER
Do you know that you are unique, beautiful being & that there is nobody like you? We are all originals with different abilities and inabilities, strengths and weakness. Some people thrive on their strengths, others concentrate on their weaknesses. Have you come to a point where you are able to enjoy who you are without being concerned too much about either abilities or inabilities? There is often a lot of confusion about all this, so let us look at it in some organized manner and hopefully replace it with some understanding and power. Allow me to show you a picture that has been painted in my mind through life experiences and understanding of them. Have a look and see if it resonates with you or not.
First of all we need to separate our natural abilities from our character.
A LOT OF PEOPLE HAVE ABILITIES THAT WILL TAKE THEM PLACES BUT NOT ENOUGH CHARACTER TO KEEP THEM THERE.
This is a profound truth! I think we all have experiences when we so desperately wanted to do something and could not understand why God would not let us do it. Later, we realized (or perhaps this is still in the future) that a bit of character was needed to be worked out in us before we could use our natural gifting. Why? Because otherwise we might cause more harm than help – to others and to ourselves.
Let’s have a look first at working on & with our natural abilities.
Like everything else in life, there are two sides of the same story. Let’s assign a numerical value to our abilities and inabilities. We are all good at some things, let’s give those at least 6 out of 10. The best gifts are 10/10 and we are usually pay a lot of money to hear them or see them or otherwise benefit from those talents. The more we practice or use our gifts, the better we become at them, possibly improving from 6 to 8 or even 9. And the rewards are sure to come with it – enjoyment, satisfaction, being appreciated and recognized and there are often also monetary rewards. It is well worth pursuing them and investing in them. Now, if you are one of the many people who are multitalented, you might become frustrated that you don’t think you have any 8, but you might have several 6 & 7. Also, check with your honest friends, who are much more likely to assess your gifts more accurately than you do.
What do we do with our inabilities, areas we think we are not good at? The truth is that many times these are areas that nobody ever showed us in an attractive way, or we compared ourselves with someone better and concluded that we were no good, or worse still we were told that we were not good at them. Studies have shown that improving our inabilities actually improves overall function of our brain, not only intelligence but also healthy confidence, and these two feed of each other. So next time you think “I can’t do that” or “I am really bad at this”, give yourself a challenge and try it anyway! You might find a new hobby or even a new friend who shows you the beauty in that area.
Putting it into perspective, it would obviously be silly to invest more into our weaknesses than into our strengths. But don’t give up on anything without trying. Overcoming weakness or fear, will give you a sense of victory, and increase strength and courage in many other areas of your life.
SO GO AHEAD, ENRICH YOUR LIFE. YOU WERE CREATED TO BE FREE!
Now, let’s have a simple look at a very complicated matter - our personality.
We all have different personalities. How did we get it? Simply put, it is mostly our genes mixed with our experiences in life, as well as our responses to those experiences. Our personality is unique to us. It is obvious that no society, community, church or even family would function well without the diversity of gifts and personalities. Because we are human, our differences can present challenges in effectively communicating with others. Our communication is based on our own perception and understanding of the world around us. This sometimes clouds the message that we both send and receive. However, the problem is not in the personalities as much as it is a problem in CHARACTER. Even though we could not choose our personality, we CAN choose our attitudes and responses, despite how we would naturally react – and that’s where character comes in. Character gives stability, reliability and strength, as well as gentleness and tolerance to our personality and can eventually be integrated into our personality, becoming our ‘second nature’. A phlegmatic will not turn into choleric, but both of them can become more cooperative or tolerant. Does that sound familiar? ‘Take on an entirely new way of life – a God-fashioned life, a life renewed from the inside and working itself into your conduct as God accurately reproduces his character in you.‘ (Ephesians 4:23-24, The Message).
There are many ways of looking at personalities. Interestingly a lot of people throughout history divided personalities into four different groups. Probably the best known division is sanguine, choleric, melancholic and phlegmatic. Most people are not a ‘pure type’ but a blend of two, three or even all four types, just to a different degree. Next time you have a family gathering, you might try to take a personality test together. It’s quite a lot of fun! And it will improve understanding of yourself and others. That is also the main purpose of this article. (For deeper understanding probably one of the best tests is Myers Briggs personality test, however it is quite elaborate.)
No one personality type outshines the other or is preferable to the other - but all complement each other in different ways and create balance in life. Undeniably, all personalities have positive and negative traits, strengths and weaknesses.
When you finish reading about different personalities it would be very beneficial to think about how they enrich, complement and make more interesting our relationships at work, social groups and families. It will make us appreciate that we indeed are needed and need each other. Through an understanding of our csimilarities and differences we can increase the effectiveness of our communication. Yes, it is sometimes difficult to cooperate with a person that perceives things differently or that plainly in one way or another refuses to cooperate and just wants to be in charge. And that’s where wisdom is needed in e.g. electing committees (more than one leader can be a disaster). Remember, though, that differences in any group are desirable, as they truly enrich our ideas and plans. Let us focus on another’s strengths and be as patient with their weaknesses as we want them to be with ours.
Let’s dare to see another’s point of view.
Sanquine
Typically extrovert, enjoys socializing, talkative, may be loud, daydreamer
Positives: creative, can be compassionate, sensitive and thoughtful
Negatives: may struggle with structure, finishing tasks, forgetful, sarcastic, can loose interest in task when it stops being fun
Choleric
Typically a doer with a lot of ambition, energy and passion, trying to instill it in others, therefore a natural leader
Positives: charismatic figure, likes to lead and be in charge
Negatives: can dominate
Melancholic
Typically thoughtful, considerate, perfectionistic, can get worried
Positives: creative, especially in poetry & art; self-reliant and independent
Negatives: when involved in an activity can forget to think of others; can become pre-occupied with tragedy & cruelty in the world
Phlegmatic
Typically self-content, shy, prefers stability to uncertainty and change
Positives: kind, accepting and affectionate; receptive, consistent, relaxed, rational, curious and observant, good administrator
Negatives: avoidance of direct confrontation, can be passive-aggressive (indirect resistance, avoidance, procrastination)
What personality, do you think Peter, the disciple of Jesus had? That’s right, choleric. And what did he do? A lot, both good and not so good. Do you know anybody like that? Where do you think Jesus fits in? Discuss it with people who usually have different opinion from you. How about your own personality? What do you like, what don’t you like and what don’t you understand about yourself? Think about all it but don’t dwell on it too long. The beauty is that God created you as an original and for a purpose. We are not mere human doings, we are human beings. The most important purpose is His relationship with you and if you choose your relationship with Him. God expresses it very passionately: ‘I have loved you with an everlasting love; therefore with loving kindness I have drawn you’ (Jeremiah 31,3).‘The person who lives in right relationship with God does it by embracing what God arranges for him’ (Galatians 3,11, The Message). ‘Cultivate your own relationship with God’, and interestingly it continues ‘but don’t impose it on others’ (Romans 14,22, The Message). Whenever we catch ourselves thinking: “I wouldn’t do what they did”, let’s balance it with another thought: “and they wouldn’t do what I did”. Sometimes families and groups of friends that have similar likes and dislikes have one strong fallback: thinking that since they all have similar outlook and understanding of situations in certain areas they must be right and others wrong.
Life would be boring without our differences. There is beauty in diversity. Together we can achieve much more and also enjoy it along the way, too. What a surprise to get together with preconceived ideas only to find out that each of us can contribute to something ultimately much better by cooperation and building on each other’s strengths. And that’s where different aspects of God’s personality and character shine through us.
Thoughts taken from the Bible, John Maxwell, Joyce Meyer, life observations and people in my life that had influence on forming my outlook and understanding of life.
Marrie Wawruszak - "The Dandy Health Group"
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